ON Life and Death

Just last week we attended the funeral of a good friend and former co-worker.
RAYMOND C. RAY

In the course of his life, Raymond had been married three times,

His first and longest marriage was to Genial, This marriage produced all of the children that was born to him. I think it was 4 daughters if I remember correctly.
I know that Raymond and Genial were extremely devoted to each other.

After Genial died several years ago, Raymond was incredibly lonely,
He had had several women invite him to go out and do things but he refused every single invitation.

I asked him why? He said to us, you have no idea what you have until you lose it, the loss of companionship is an unbearable loss but Genial made me promise years ago to never try to find someone else and get married again." Sadly I could remember making Don promise the same thing when I was young and incredibly dumb.

I assured him that if Genial could see how lonely and sad he was, she would take those words back in a heart beat. I firmly believe that, and still do.

Raymond courted and married a woman named Birdie, and they ended up getting married, Birdie was very good for Raymond and made him happy and glad to be alive once more.
Sadly after only a short amount of time, Birdie died of cancer, leaving Raymond alone once more.

Raymond met Sandy, a widow herself. She let Raymond know from the beginning that she also had cancer, Raymond asked her to marry him anyway and she accepted, BUT she was also undergoing cancer treatment at the time and wanted to wait until she got better to get married. Sadly Sandy never got better, and she passed away before they could get married. Raymond was a true-blue friend and fiance, He took care of Sandy and even spoke at her funeral when she was gone.

Then Raymond met and married Carolyn. They married a few years ago and were very happy together, She had several children, somRaymonds big and loving heart gave out on him last week and he himself passed away. The thing that really impressed me at his funeral were the tributes that his step children, by this wife, paid to him at the funeral and how grateful they were for the happiness that Raymond had brought back to her life. But I would also say that she also brought much happiness into Raymonds last years.

What a blessing each wife brought into Raymonds life and how much happiness he was able to bring into not only their lives but to their families lives also.

Since that time, I have told Don that if anything happens to me, I would hope that he remembers me and the good times that we had, Wait a year to make any major decisions, and then I would want him to move on with his life and if that included finding another women, he would have my blessing,
BUT he can't take her DANCING, he wouldn't take me dancing and by heck I won't allow him to take someone else dancing, if he tries, I will personally come back for him, he will have a heart attack right there on the dance floor and I'll be there to say "I told you so, did you think I was kidding?"

All joking aside, if any of my children read this blog I want them to know that if their Dad finds someone to marry after I'm dead and gone, It is OK with me, and if she makes their dad happy and she is even halfway decent to them, they better accept and love or at least LIKE her and welcome her to the family, he just can't love her more than he did me though :)

Thoughts

I have been doing a bit of thinking and soul searching lately.
I have come to the conclusion that I am very grateful that in this life I have had the opportunity to be a Daughter, sibling, Granddaughter, Wife, Mother, Aunt, Grandmother and a great grandmother. I consider each and every one of these to be a great blessing in my life.

As a mother I wish I had been more patient with my children, realized that they would grow up and leave home eventually. I wish I would have taken the time to enjoy each stage of the life of each child more fully.

I have often felt that it would have been wonderful and insightful, if each child had come with their own instruction manual.

We have five children, James, Jennifer, Todd, Shawn, and Kristi. Each child was raised in the same home with the same parents, same rules, so how is it even possible that each child has turned out to be so individual and different from each other.

Maybe this explains part of it, In church yesterday we learned that we have always existed as intelligences, And It was our Heavenly Father who created spiritual bodies to house each intelligence, and then mortal bodies for us to come and dwell on this earth to gain experience. That might explain why each child as they joined our family had their own distinct personality even at birth.

I heard a saying once that goes something like this, "If you love something, set it Free, If it returns to you, it is yours, if it does't return, it was never yours to begin with."

I have always tried to raise my children to be independant individuals, So as the time came to set each child free, It came as a great shock to me how difficult it was
to let each child go. Luckily each child has returned to us as independant individuals who love their parents, and each child now has a family of their own. What a great blessing that has been, as I really worried that a couple of them would not want to return once they left.

While spending some time with Kristi and her family in April 2009, Kristi asked me to share some memories with Gwen of Kristi when she was growing up. I was stumnped, not to many things came to mind, So I have been doing some thinking and trying to remember experiences with each child, who will now be known in my future posting of each child as,

James: Mr. Independant
Jennifer: The Little Mom
Todd: Our Free Spirit
Shawn: The Rebellious One
Kristi: Our Animal Lover

I may add memories of each child from time to time, so if interested please check
back from time to time.