Cherish The Time You Have together

I belong to an incredimail stationary group, and one creator always adds this footer to her stationary, She just sent this through her group and it has touched me very deeply




I have had many of you ask about the butterfly....In the footer of my letters you will see a butterfly with "Cherish The Time You Have Together". It came from a letter my son wrote about 2 months before he died. The class assignment was to write a letter to yourself to be opened when they graduated from high school. The letter was where they would be at that time in there life. I never knew the letter existed. His teacher brought it to me at the funeral home. It was sealed. He wrote about his family and friends it was thoughtful and funny. The very last line read, "Cherish The Time You Have Together". He was just 17. It was such a gift to have that in my hands in his own writing. I believe God knew I would need that on that very day. I treasure that precious letter. The butterfly being so significant, the colors of the butterfly were his favorite and of course the saying. We had it inscribed on his tombstone in his own handwriting.

Why My Daughter Likes me ♥ according to Face Book

Kristi Genessy Bassett Hmmmm... I'd have to say I like you because you have a "Grow Dammit" sign in your yard. That and you always have something good to say about everyone. And you rock the Beehive.
June 2 at 8:58pm ·

Jan Bills Genessy
Not becaue I'm your Mom? Just because of my Sign??????


Kristi Genessy Bassett
Mom I love you because your my mom, these are the reasons that I "like" you.

Jan Here, What more could a Mom Ask Eh?

Mom's Obituary

OGDEN – Joy Matilda Bentley Bills, 84, died Thursday, May 6, 2010 at Manor Care Health Services in South Ogden.

She was born May 17, 1925, in Bingham Canyon, Utah, a daughter of Arthur and Selma Matson Bentley.

On May 27, 1942, Joy married Orley Bills in Brigham City. Orley preceded her in death on December 28, 2003.

She was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

She was the owner and operator of Triple O Insulation.

Joy was an excellent cook who also loved to crochet, quilt and garden. She also enjoyed going out to eat. She was a caring and loving person who always put her family first.

Surviving are two sons, Orley (Delia) Bills, Sandy, UT; Randy (Eileen) Bills, Roy; Janice (Don) Genessy, West Valley City; Cheri (Scot) Slager, South Ogden; 16 grandchildren, 28 great-grandchildren and three great-great-grandchildren.

Also surviving is one brother, Arthur D. Bentley.

She was preceded in death by her parents, her husband, two sisters and one brother.

Funeral services will be held Monday at 11 a.m. at Lindquist’s Ogden Mortuary, 3408 Washington Blvd.

Visitation will be held at the mortuary on Sunday from 6 to 8 p.m. and Tuesday 9:45 to 10:45 a.m.

Interment, Lindquist’s Memorial Gardens of the Wasatch, 1718 Combe Road

Another, Coincidence or dare I say Syncronicity?????

As Our Youngest Daughter Kristi, left home to attend College and later marry, Don and I found ourselves the Inheritor of her pests...er I mean PETS :)

On the morning of March 2nd, 2010 Her ( should I say our or my? ) Bird, PRETTY BOY, who has resided in our home for 21 years, was found lying dead in the bottom of his cage, I emailed Kris to let her know, I would have called but she seldom answers her phone. a few hours later I recived this email, addressed to me and all her siblings


From Kristi Dear Family: Not sure if you have all heard or not, but Pretty Boy passed away last night. I am devasted, but even in my depths of grief I can't help but think of poor mom and dad. As we all know, I was Pretty Boys owner, but mom and dad have been his caretaker for over a decade now. I can't imagine the weight of this loss for them. We all know mom and dad are getting on in years and are sure to be lonely with this new loss. I was thinking that, as their children, the least we could do is pitch in and get mom and dad a new bird, preferably one with a long Lifespan. Pretty Boy was only around for 21-short-years, and I think we all know that wasn't long enough. Anyway, so if you could please send me your $20 contribution I will go and pick out and deliver mom and dad's new bird. Love, Kris


I prompty replied with this message and a Wav file The wav file I'm reffering to was one that told of an old couple who's nephew went to South America to work for an oil company, while there he sent his Aunt and Uncle a very expensive bird as a Chrtistmas gift. The man Narrating the wav file said they ate the bird for Christmas and that it was delicious, When his nephew called to see if they had received the bird, the uncle told him it was delicious, The nephew was pretty upset and told the uncle that the bird had been a rare bird and that the bird spoke 2 different languages, the uncle replied Well then the bird should have said something. Anyway if you read this and want the WAV file, which I've tried to attach (if it will work ) I would be happy to send it to you as it has seemed to lose something in the translation :)

Jans Reply What a thoughtful offer, and I think that if you All pitch in and get us a new bird It should be just the right size by Christmas For us all to enjoy, for Christmas Dinner, which I'm sure you will all want to attend. I'm sure I could fatten that bird up in NO time AND We all know how big Kitty has gotten under my care don't we? I am enclosing a WAV file for your listening pleasure, please enjoy Ohh and Kris, If you are going to be home later today We will be dropping Kitty by She has missed you so much since you moved, and I think you would really like her for her mouseing skills. I'm packing up her bed and food as I type this little Thank you :) Love Mom

I then received an email from my other daughter Jennifer

From Jenn

Just so ya know.. Ashley is now in tears after listening to the Christmas Bird. She is now running to pet her bird and kiss him and talk to him!!! I personnally thought that was FUNNY.

(Ashley is our 13 year old Grandaughter whose mother is Jennifer) A sad ending to this tale is that the next morning Ashley and Jenn found Ashleys bird dead in its cage. Coincidence???? OR Sycronicity????? I'm just not sure


ttach it

My Synchronicities

Several Months ago, a friend lent me a book called
"Embracing Coincidence"
"Transforming your life through Synchronicity" written by Carol Lynn Pearson

What is Syncronicity you may ask, Synchronicity is the name that Carl Jung gave to Meaningful Coincidense's that happen in your life.

I loved this little book, so I Immediately started looking in bookstores to find a copy for myself, I couldn't find one anywhere, If the book stores carried it I obviously was in the wrong place at the wrong time because I couldn't find a copy anywhere. So I started looking on line and I couldn't find it in any of the online bookstores. Not one to discourage easily, (some inconsiderate people might call this stubborness", I decided to look up CAROL LYNN PEARSON on the internet (http://www.clpearson.com/index.htm)
and I struck gold!!!!!!!!. She was selling copies of the book through her website, and at no extra charge, she would autograph the book for you on request.
I had been looking for something meaningful to give my daughters and daughters in law for Mothers Day and I decided to buy them each a copy of the book and have Carol Lynn autograph it for them. I don't know how many of my daughters have actually read the book, I hope if they haven't that they will read it sooner if not later. Todds girlfriend, Natalie, whom I love dearly has been the only one who has mentioned how much she enjoyed and loved the book.

With this said I have decided to share a few Synchronicities that I feel I have personally had in the last few years.

I hope these are synchronicities, they are to me anyway.
The first one is about a year and a half after Dad (Orley Edwin Bills SR.) passed away. He passed away December 28, 2003

On July 16, 2005, Mom went to the Temple to have her endowments taken out. My brother in law Scot Slager stood in as proxy for my Dads endowments and we were going to have Mom and Dad sealed that day along with sealing those of their children who were eligible to be sealed to them at the time, the children to be sealed included just Cheri and myself that day, we still have hope that someday the brothers will be sealed to all of us as well.

As the endowment started I glanced up at the officiator and lo and behold I thought I was looking at my dad, the resemblance was just amazing to me, I was almost in shock, but I thought maybe it was just me and that I just wanted Dad to actually be there with us on this day.
Finally as I watched this officiator almost through the whole session I turned to my sister and asked, does the officiator look familiar to you, Cheri said "Oh Yeah, I think he looks a lot like dad". After the session and the sealings, we were sitting outside the Temple and we were taking some pictures when Mom turned to me and asked, "Do you think your dad will be able to accept all this?"
Cheri and I looked at each other and smiled, We assured Mom that we were certain Dad had already accepted the Temple work and sealings that had been done for him this day.

On a further note and this isn't actually part of the Synchronicity, My brother Randy is working on getting his Temple Recommend reinstated, I hope we will be able to attend a session with him as he is also sealed to Mom and Dad.

Another little Synchronicity happened on June 11th 2009

I went to visit Mom at Manor Care, Mom has Alheimers and is in a care center, I'm not sure she still recognizes me as her daughter :( , and conversations with her are
very hard to understand and follow,........ but I digress.

On this Day it was clear to see that Mom was very agitated, I asked her what was wrong, I wasn't really expecting an answer that I could understand because Mom is usually pretty incoherent, but she said as plain as day, "I've been trying to get in touch with my sister and I can't reach her" Mom has two sisters, Tess and Louise.

Aunt Louise died many years ago and so I thought she was probably talking about Tess,
I tried to question her a little about who she meant but Mom was back to being incoherent, she didn't say any more about her sister, so sadly the conversation on this topic was over

The next morning, I received an email from my Cousin Kathleen Becker, Aunt Tess's daughter, she was informing me that her mother had had a stroke and was lying in a coma. On June 15th Aunt Tess passed away without regaining conciousness. Aunt Tess was 91 years old when she passed away. Mom is 84

I've wondered many times if Mom somehow knew something was wrong with Aunt Tess
and how she could have possibly known if that was so.

This Sunday August 9, 2009 Our Grandaughter Lillian Grace was blest. Lilly was born on June 13th, the day that Our son James and his Fiance Amanda were married.

On the day of the blessing, there were two babies to be blest, Lillian Grace was the first baby to be blest. She was blest by her Grandfather Rob Carter. I haven't heard the name Lillian given to a baby for a long time, BUT When the second baby was blest her middle name was Lillian and her Father kept reffering to her as Lilly, what a coincidence.

That wasnt the only interesting similarity that day though. There was a High Council representative sitting on the stand, as I looked at him I thought he looked a little familiar but couldn't place him as someone I knew. Shortly there after Don leaned over and said, "look at that high councilman sitting on the stand, do you think he looks a bit like my brother Tom"?

Tom passed away 6 years ago on Nov. 23, 2003, and then I realized why this man looked so familiar to me, I could hardly take my eyes off of him after that, He did look amazingly like Tom and there were certain ways he would move or gesture that I would have sworn I was looking at Tom himself. Before the meeting was over I walked back to where my Nephew Jody was sitting and asked him to look at the high Councilman
and tell me if he thought he looked like his dad. Jody said "Oh my gosh he does"

I'm not sure if Jody was just trying to humor me or if he really agreed with us.

Don and I both feel like he looked amazingly like Tom, sad to say, we don't even know his name :(

I'm sure this won't be the end of my Synchronicities, time will tell and if I have anymore I will try to record them here.

ON Life and Death

Just last week we attended the funeral of a good friend and former co-worker.
RAYMOND C. RAY

In the course of his life, Raymond had been married three times,

His first and longest marriage was to Genial, This marriage produced all of the children that was born to him. I think it was 4 daughters if I remember correctly.
I know that Raymond and Genial were extremely devoted to each other.

After Genial died several years ago, Raymond was incredibly lonely,
He had had several women invite him to go out and do things but he refused every single invitation.

I asked him why? He said to us, you have no idea what you have until you lose it, the loss of companionship is an unbearable loss but Genial made me promise years ago to never try to find someone else and get married again." Sadly I could remember making Don promise the same thing when I was young and incredibly dumb.

I assured him that if Genial could see how lonely and sad he was, she would take those words back in a heart beat. I firmly believe that, and still do.

Raymond courted and married a woman named Birdie, and they ended up getting married, Birdie was very good for Raymond and made him happy and glad to be alive once more.
Sadly after only a short amount of time, Birdie died of cancer, leaving Raymond alone once more.

Raymond met Sandy, a widow herself. She let Raymond know from the beginning that she also had cancer, Raymond asked her to marry him anyway and she accepted, BUT she was also undergoing cancer treatment at the time and wanted to wait until she got better to get married. Sadly Sandy never got better, and she passed away before they could get married. Raymond was a true-blue friend and fiance, He took care of Sandy and even spoke at her funeral when she was gone.

Then Raymond met and married Carolyn. They married a few years ago and were very happy together, She had several children, somRaymonds big and loving heart gave out on him last week and he himself passed away. The thing that really impressed me at his funeral were the tributes that his step children, by this wife, paid to him at the funeral and how grateful they were for the happiness that Raymond had brought back to her life. But I would also say that she also brought much happiness into Raymonds last years.

What a blessing each wife brought into Raymonds life and how much happiness he was able to bring into not only their lives but to their families lives also.

Since that time, I have told Don that if anything happens to me, I would hope that he remembers me and the good times that we had, Wait a year to make any major decisions, and then I would want him to move on with his life and if that included finding another women, he would have my blessing,
BUT he can't take her DANCING, he wouldn't take me dancing and by heck I won't allow him to take someone else dancing, if he tries, I will personally come back for him, he will have a heart attack right there on the dance floor and I'll be there to say "I told you so, did you think I was kidding?"

All joking aside, if any of my children read this blog I want them to know that if their Dad finds someone to marry after I'm dead and gone, It is OK with me, and if she makes their dad happy and she is even halfway decent to them, they better accept and love or at least LIKE her and welcome her to the family, he just can't love her more than he did me though :)

Thoughts

I have been doing a bit of thinking and soul searching lately.
I have come to the conclusion that I am very grateful that in this life I have had the opportunity to be a Daughter, sibling, Granddaughter, Wife, Mother, Aunt, Grandmother and a great grandmother. I consider each and every one of these to be a great blessing in my life.

As a mother I wish I had been more patient with my children, realized that they would grow up and leave home eventually. I wish I would have taken the time to enjoy each stage of the life of each child more fully.

I have often felt that it would have been wonderful and insightful, if each child had come with their own instruction manual.

We have five children, James, Jennifer, Todd, Shawn, and Kristi. Each child was raised in the same home with the same parents, same rules, so how is it even possible that each child has turned out to be so individual and different from each other.

Maybe this explains part of it, In church yesterday we learned that we have always existed as intelligences, And It was our Heavenly Father who created spiritual bodies to house each intelligence, and then mortal bodies for us to come and dwell on this earth to gain experience. That might explain why each child as they joined our family had their own distinct personality even at birth.

I heard a saying once that goes something like this, "If you love something, set it Free, If it returns to you, it is yours, if it does't return, it was never yours to begin with."

I have always tried to raise my children to be independant individuals, So as the time came to set each child free, It came as a great shock to me how difficult it was
to let each child go. Luckily each child has returned to us as independant individuals who love their parents, and each child now has a family of their own. What a great blessing that has been, as I really worried that a couple of them would not want to return once they left.

While spending some time with Kristi and her family in April 2009, Kristi asked me to share some memories with Gwen of Kristi when she was growing up. I was stumnped, not to many things came to mind, So I have been doing some thinking and trying to remember experiences with each child, who will now be known in my future posting of each child as,

James: Mr. Independant
Jennifer: The Little Mom
Todd: Our Free Spirit
Shawn: The Rebellious One
Kristi: Our Animal Lover

I may add memories of each child from time to time, so if interested please check
back from time to time.